


Small Things.

by narumika



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: ? sorta, A lot of self loathing., Angst, Fluff, I hate Shido: the musical, M/M, Murderous Thoughts, Persona 5 Spoilers, Self Loathing, Suicidal Thoughts, a lot of spoilers, incest is referenced, its right in the middle, murder mentions, non-con is also referenced so please tread lightly, uhh theres a lot so its pretty heavy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-04 05:07:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15834333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narumika/pseuds/narumika
Summary: Akechi decided that his life had never been good a long time ago. Sure, there were things that he would find nice at times but putting those in the grand scheme of things.. His life was still shit, it was just distractions to the big picture.--This fic is venty so please read the tags carefully and be cautious when reading!





	Small Things.

**Author's Note:**

> Please note, this was incredibly venty and self-indulgent.

Akechi decided that his life had never been good a long time ago. Sure, there were things that he would find nice at times but putting those in the grand scheme of things.. His life was still shit, it was just distractions to the big picture.  
  
Having love didn't mean much when he knew what the future had in store for him. What his destiny was- he was a wildcard, he knew a lot. He wasn't an idiot.. Yet he still stuck around for reasons yet to come to Akechi. He remembered laying in his bed, fingers twitching as he thought about the things in store for the next.. Work, work and a meeting with his Father himself.  
  
.. That didn't sound right anymore. Using the term 'father' was too generous for the things he did to him. It was Shido-san through and through. Though in his heart he'd always know the truth, even when it wouldn't even occur to the other. The world was in color to him while his father lived in a colorblind world. He thought what he was doing was right, while Akechi knew the truth. Either way, Akechi knew what Shido would do to him. He needed a distraction or he would ruin not only his night but the boy sleeping beside him.  
  
As he sat up in bed, Akira was turned away from him, he tapped his fingers on his windowsill with dull and soft noises, looking out onto the absolutely exciting view that he had. He didn’t know if he was being sarcastic anymore. Though Akechi got a little homesick (somehow, living in that condo made him sick to his stomach at times) from time to time when he stayed with Akira, the attic always felt a little bit like home. As stupid as it was. He enjoyed spending time with Akira sometimes. Flustering, eating his curry on an empty stomach since turning him down would be incredibly rude (he still enjoyed it), and just being close and more affectionate than someone like Akechi would ever deserve.  


He seemed to genuinely care for him at times and that would be his downfall.   
  
He didn't know why thoughts like these would make him feel so vulnerable, thinking about someone who seemingly loved him, dying by his hands. He sometimes thought about speeding up the process, just ending the Phantom Thieves right where they stand and report back to Shido-san and blast his brains out in the process.   
  
Then blow his own brains out. It's not that hard.. In theory. All his friends hate his guts, so what? He could just kill them and get the praise he deserved. Friends were overrated. Making friends with the enemy? Absolutely disgraceful. Akechi didn't deserve the detective prince title. Someone who so often considered the murder of so many people- hell, when he was even part of the murders of so many others.   
  
.. He didn't notice he was crying until he felt arms around his waist. He wanted to yell and push the arms away from him, jump out the window and never look back. Akechi stayed still, heart thumping in his ears as he was aware of every heavy breath that he let out..   
  
_ Inhale.. Exhale.. Inhale.. _   
  
“Akechi-”  _ Exhale _ . “Are you alright?” He heard Akira's voice and his whole body shivered, he didn't know why. Maybe it was because he was imagining him dead, as if he would turn around and see the dead husk of his b.. Of his leader instead of the actual man just laying by his side. Saying boyfriend sounded too odd, didn't it?   
  
“I'm fine, Kurusu.” He muttered the same factory response. He knew he wouldn't buy it one bit- he had already foolishly opened himself up enough to this enemy, he knew too much about him now. He's not sure if he regrets that or he enjoys that.   
  
“You don't sound fine.” The same response as usual, if he kept persisting, telling him he was fine, he would just go to bed and leave Akechi to his demise. He could read his leader like an open book. It wasn't like he held anything back from him anymore. He foolishly opened himself up to Akechi, he knew too much about him. More than he ever thought he would expect to know when Shido-san first assigned him to the Phantom Thieves.   
  
“I just want to go to bed.” Another factory response, if he ever said that to Shido-san he would be dead. Akira was different though.. He was so different, he seemed to truly worry about him in  a way his father didn’t…  
  


What was he thinking at this point, the world was cruel and if he gave into pathetically soft thoughts he would get hurt.. More hurt than he already was at this point, as edgy and self deprecating the phrasing of the thought was. Akira paused, he could feel his eyes burning into him. He was most likely squinting, he might whine about his glasses being fake but he knew him better. Akira was an open book to him.  
  


“... Can I go to bed with you then?” Akechi swallows and he feels his finger twitch against the windowsill. Akira knew how bad of an idea that it would be a bad idea to get any closer. Yet he loved danger so desperately, didn’t he? It made him laugh. He was foolish and an idiot at times yet in his mind, Akechi still always fell for his tricks and still so happily called him his leader.  
  


Who was the fool in this situation? After all.. He still stayed by Akira’s side.  
  


“Fine.” And he laid back down, the thought still fresh on his mind. Akira’s arms didn’t let go and for a moment he was grateful. Grateful that someone in this fucked up world could love him for who he was. Maybe he had done this again, just to see him, to have him in his bed. He questioned what means Akira had gone to see him alive.. And to what means destiny would go to rip them apart at the seams.  
  


As he tried to doze off to sleep- knowing the mindset he was in would kill him a little and give him nightmares he considered the person beside him once more. Maybe.. Just maybe the world would be pitiful and spare him from waking up in cold sweats, with phantom touches and the dreadful fear that put pits into his stomach. Maybe the world would be pitiful.  
  


No it wouldn’t. But as he dozed off, he felt Akira’s arms begin to wrap around him again, he froze up but slowly.. Slowly he relaxed into the touch and leaned into it. He felt Akira’s head rest on his shoulder and he thought..  
  


Maybe he could decide that life was good for now.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Thanks for getting to the end of the fic! Please leave a comment, I really appreciate every critic on my writing, it helps me learn how to get better!


End file.
